Alphabets and Words Dance Inside my Head

beberapa hari ini hidup saya terasa begitu hambar
college, work, and personal life
semuanya terasa begitu monoton dan berkutat dengan rutinitas yang sama dari hari ke hari

tanpa terasa kuliah saya telah menginjak semester ke-4,
i can't believe that it's almost 2yrs
dan kini saya sedang proses penyusunan skripsi.
progress yang saya capai tidak lebih dari 1%
1% untuk pembuatan judul

it's really hard to create something when u actually don't like it or it's not something that you want

ya hingga saat ini terkadang masih sulit bagi saya untuk menerima kenyataan bahwa saya mengambil kuliah manajemen, it's... it feels like taking a bitter medicine

i had to choose it, it was the shortest path to take and least difficult.
though i know i will not enjoy it

celakanya semangat saya utk menyelesaikan kuliah semakin meredup

dalam hal pekerjaan, rutinitas yg saya hadapi begitu luar biasa menjemukan, karir saya terasa berhenti pada suatu titik dan sudah tidak bergerak naik lagi

begitu pula dlm kehidupan pribadi, it's been over a year since my last relationship and i still haven't found anyone.
saya sudah bisa melupakan dia, tapi utk memulai sebuah hubungan yang baru terasa begitu berat

kemudian saya berdiskusi dengan sahabat saya, yg awalnya adalah "obrolan2 kentut" yg berakhir dengan saya malah curhat

namun saya mendapatkan nasehat2 yang luar biasa dari sahabat saya itu, saya sempat kaget juga ternyata dia cukup bijaksana *pisss brader :D*

beberapa patah kata yang menurut saya nasehat yg luar biasa itu adalah...
brother...that's part of growing old, taking responsibility of matter we don't like

ya, menjadi dewasa itu adalah bertanggung jawab atas hal-hal yang tidak kita sukai

dalam hidup kita akan membuat pilihan, terkadang pilihan itu tidak sesuai dengan yg kita harapkan, namun pilihan yg sudah dibuat harus tetap dipertanggung jawabkan... itulah namanya kedewasaan

adalah hal yang wajar apabila lelah menghadapi semua masalah yang ada, but that's not a reason to quit or run away.
you have to deal with it, finish it. like you always do

satu hal juga yang saya sadari...
kuliah, pekerjaan,dan personal life... ketiga hal tersebut saling berkaitan, oleh karena itu saya harus bisa menyelesaikannya satu persatu

jadi.... dimulai dengan bismillah, semoga skripsi saya dapat selesai tepat pada waktunya

When i'm not around
And no more I can be found
Please remember me and embrace my memories,

Of how I used to hold your hand, whisper to your ears,
Do foolishness just so you would stop your tears,
and say goodnight everytime before sun disappear

Sometimes goodbye is the only answer and it's all that I can give
Goodnight, sleeptight, don't miss me
i'll be seing you in your dreams

-AHK-

I spent the rest of my life wondering
Why you did what you did to me

You told me to wait for you
You said that you'll be there

I waited for you right where you told me to
I waited from morning till dawn but you never showed up

I wait and I waited for you under that tree
from day when sky was so bright until finally the stars were the only one that was shining on me
but still I waited for you that night

And then it started to rain
as much as it was raining in my heart

I stood that night under the tree untill the sun finally rise
and no more tears to fall from my eyes

-AHK-

My arrogance and ignorance is the only weapon I have against you
And I will continue using it
Until I can found the way to stop loving you

Until this present I still do
I still do
As much as I used to
And I despise myself for it

-AHK-

treasure the moment you said
yeah
go ahead and treasure the moment
while each drop of my blood is being shed

did you have a good time?
i sure did,
because you sure was doing your best
you see this smile?
yeah i'm smiling,
while you were stabbing a blade down my chest

who said life was fair?
you took everything for granted
and now i'm living in despair

you ripped all the love out of me
and now i'm living in misery

-AHK-