Alphabets and Words Dance Inside my Head

Tunjukan padaku dimana ku bisa tukarkan benda ini
Seonggok hati yang luka dan penuh memar

Bila ku melihat keadaannya dengan seksama
Sepertinya benda ini sudah mulai membusuk

Warnanya kini terlihat kehitaman
Dan aku bisa dengan jelas mencium aroma kesedihan

Entah sudah berapa lama ia berhenti berfungsi

Pernah suatu hari benda ini terasa begitu sakit
Hingga aku terpaksa mengamputasinya dengan kedua tanganku ini

Aku sendiri tak mengerti mengapa aku masih tetap menyimpannya
Karena kurasa tanpa benda inipun aku masih bisa hidup

Kini ia tak lebih dari potongan daging yang rusak
Segenggam kesedihan yang masih belum bisa ku campakan

-AHK-

pertama kali ku melihatmu
kau langsung dapat menguasai pikiranku
dan menginjeksikan kegundahan didalam hari-hariku

matamu, wajahmu, kakimu, semua hal pada tubuhmu...
seperti medan yang begitu asing namun menggugah hasratku untuk menjelajahimu

dirimu yg begitu berbeda
tak seperti yang pernah kulihat sebelumnya

ingin rasanya aku menaikimu
kemudian meremasmu dengan kencang
dan membuatmu berteriak dengan lantang

menikmati setiap jengkal dari lekuk tubuhmu
terhanyut dalam kenikmatan saat ku merebah denganmu

mungkin semua ini hanya akan berada diangan
meski kau bisa untuk aku dapatkan
namun akan begitu banyak yang harus ku korbankan

dan aku tak yakin
jikalau kau menjadi milikku
apakah aku akan sanggup untuk merawatmu


just in case u'r wondering who she is, here it is...
the sexy hot lady

isn't she's a beauty or what, especially the one dressed in candy ruby red

*sebuah obsesi yang hingga kini belum terwujudkan

-AHK-

her big round eyes
her sweet smile
her cute tiny nose
her twittery voice
and that weird accent when she talks

the more i look at her
the more she consume the space in my mind
and the more jitters she put into my thoughts

i don't know if it's real
a temporary madness is more likely what i feel

it feels like something that i've felt before
that thing in my guts

what is that...
is that happiness?

-AHK-

*i'm done playing the same game
*i'm done being a 'distraction'
*keep the distance and don't do anything foolish

Runing out of paper

running out of ink

running out of thoughts

my mind is so empty that i have no idea what to think


running out of paragraph

running out of word

it feels so cold and i got nothing to hold


running out of light

running out of air

not sure i can keep up

its just too much for me to bear


Running out of purpose

Running out of patience

It's like running blindfold and even harder with your absence


running out of happines

i'm...

running out of You

-AHK-

*1st writing in 2011

*1st writing on my new qwerty

when you feel the weight is too much
and it's so hard even just to breath

when no one can catch you when you fall
and no one can shed the light when it's dark

when it feels like you're trying to hold the wind
and there's nothing that you can do

you're not alone
He's with you all the way
shall guide you everyday

have faith in Him
He will not abandon you

when you're living without a cause
and you don't know which path to take

when it feels like everyone is gone
and death is all you've known

you're not alone
He's with you all the way
shall guide you everyday

have faith in Him
He will not forsake you

-AHK-

liar liar
i'm a big liar
well maybe i am
so what are you gonna do?
sue me?
no, you should just kill me instead
go ahead and do

take this knife and cut me open
take it and cut me open bitch!

to make things easier...
how about i just do it for you
i'll just cut my chest open for you

see!... can't you see...
go look in there bitch!

i got nothing, there's nothing
you won't see anything
coz i got none

you won't see any regret
you won't be able to hear my embitterness

you can't kill what's already dead

so fuck off bitch
i don't want you

yeah sure i've teased you
but that doesn't mean i need you

it's no more that just a game
you're just a pretty toy that i've played

and now it's time for you to be wasted

fuck off and leave
can't you hear me bitch

stop that whine and tears
the fact is not going to change over your stupid little act
becoz this is the truth

i'm dead!

-AHK-

the sun is bright
the air is warm
and you look so mesmerizing

that when the shade fall on your skin
you are the perfect scene

the only word that can describe is perfection

and so it is
it's the perfect day to say goodbye
it's the perfect day to go don't ask me why

i should've been away since yesterday
it was a stupid thing for me to stay
it's the perfect day to say goodbye

what was i'm thinking
hoping the weather will be changing
now that the sun is so bright
i can see it all and it feels right
it's the perfect day to say goodbye

i wanna be happy with no lies and secrets
i wanna be happy and i wan't the whole world to know
i wanna be happy without having to give a damn about tomorrow

i'm leaving all the picture perfect lies that we've played
the picture perfect lies that you and i have played

it's the perfect day to say goodbye
it's the perfect day to go don't ask me why

-AHK-

Close your lips and say nothing
Just look at me deeply and let our eyes do the talking

Move your body close to mine
Move along to the sway that we're bound
Hold me tight i'll keep you save and sound

Don't think of anything else, don't care about them, don't care if they see
Because right now there's only you and me

Your smile is my sunshine
Your voice is my melody
You made me complete
But now i can only have you in my memory

-AHK-

*tulisan lama yg tersimpan di laptop, tercipta ketika rasa itu masih ada

that thing was like screaming at me
saying that i will be in an everlasting pain

it was so cold and frightening
as if it was angry at me while staring

i can even feel my heart stop beating
and something were crushing from within

it was like my kryptonite
a silver diamond ring on her finger

-AHK-

*masih teringat dg jelas dikepala saya, tempat makan seafood, she was on her period... while we were eating i notice something on her finger... the time just stop... she ask me "kenapa?" i just smile

awan kelabu yg menghampiri
hapus... dan lukiskan pelangi

terkadang petir bahkan badai kan mengelilingi
tetaplah berdiri, tegakkan langkah mu dan jangan berhenti

semua kekecewaan yg pernah dialami
jangan menggetarkan dan membuatmu terhenti

hidup bukan hanya hitam dan putih
ada merah, kuning, hijau, jingga hingga biru
semua memberi warna dalam hidupmu

suatu saat nanti ketika kau membaca kembali buku kehidupanmu
maka kau kan bisa melihat
betapa indah semua yg tlah terjadi

-AHK-

unleash the beast
shows no mercy
and let it feast
feed from agony

unleash the hatred
filled with anger
be condemned
forever after

it's always been like this
my life hanging by a thread
everyday is hell in my head

but i will not stop
and i shall not regret

because the future is mine to take

-AHK-

The End.

-AHK-

she wrote...
i prefer not to share too much with other

she wrote...
this is who i am

i read...
hesitation is haunting you

i read...
trepidation lies in you

if what you say is true
than i can't possibly be reading you

you can write one thing
but i can read the unwritten things

i can only do so
because you allow me to

let the past stays in the past
don't let a shadow stopping you from moving on

-AHK-

She's as fragile as an eggshell
I can crack her open
Seconds later, she closes

I tried to crack her open again
But then she closes again

And again
And again...

It seems like there's nothing that I can do

I'll just put you back where I found you

And pretend I have never seen what I have seen through those cracks
^___^

-AHK-

dirimu...
begitu hening dan tanpa suara
meski aku bisa melihat sedikit cahaya

sulit bagiku untuk mendengar isi hatimu
tapi aku bisa melihat ada memar disana

mungkin kau tlah terbiasa
melayang sendiri di angkasa

ditemani kegelapan dan kesendirian
mungkin seperti itu kau bisa hindarkan luka

tapi apakah dengan begitu kau bisa temukan bahagia?

aku disini bukan untuk redupkan sinarmu
dan bukan untuk menambah sakitmu

-AHK-

*what is she affraid of?

Untaian kata yang menyusun dirinya
Tiap kata yang berhamoni
Membentuk sebuah arti
Dari kalam sang illahi

Untaian kata yang tak sanggup diduplikasi
Oleh pujangga dan penyair

Mereka yang menafikkannya mengatakan...
Ia tidak teratur seperti buku atau kamus bahkan novel sekalipun

Namun
Pernahkah kau temui sungai yang mengalir lurus
Gunung yang menjulang simetris
Awan dilangit yang melayang dalam barisan
Tidak...

Namun apabila kau melihat semuanya sebagai satu kesatuan
Maka kau akan menemukan keindahan

Begitu pula Ia
Susunannya begitu sempurna

Beragam kalimat yang berulang
Namun ada makna yang berbeda setiap kali kalimat itu terpampang

Sastra indah yang berasal dari Tuhan
Ia bernama Al-Quran

-AHK-

dimalam-malam mu tuhan
kusujudkan hati ini

dikegelapan harimu robbi
kurendahkan jiwa ini

kepadamu aku menyembah
padamu aku berserah

kehadiratmu ku bersimpuh
penuh dosa ku berpeluh

mengharap ampunanmu ya robbi
sebelum kau panggil jiwa ini

terimalah tobatku
kembali padamu
untukmulah hidup dan matiku

tunjukan padaku
jalan yang kau tuju
bagimulah semua ibadahku

Kusadari ku salah
Seringkali ku khilaf
Solatmu bgitu mudah kulupa

Kusadari ku salah
Smua karna ku khilaf
Bahkan ayatmu tak lagi kubaca

Hanya padamu ku bisa mengadu
Ya allah ampuni dosaku

-AHK-

*it's actually a song, but until now (5/6/2010) the chord is remain unfinished. hopefully i can have it completed in the future

humanity goes beyond faith
humanity goes beyond race
humanity goes beyond anything that can differentiate men

it doesn't matter what faith they believe
it doesn't matter what race they came from

from what they have shown
they had no humanity in them

what's left of them are nothing more than pure evil

-AHK-

*luar biasa bagaimana manusia bisa dengan mudahnya membuat manusia lain mati perlahan dan tanpa belas kasihan sedikitpun membantai wanita dan anak2 demi mencapai tujuan

I know it's probably cold and dark up there
But can you see that blinking glare
That one over there
he's the star

It's not much that he can do
He could only blinks one and two
But he'll stay up there with you

Hey moon goddess don't be sad
Becoz if you do then the world gonna turn bad

Theres probably hundreds of trouble in your heart
But I can't hear them becoz ur so quiet and each time I bug you all you did was smile

Hey moon goddess do you have any clue
That when you smile, it looks so pretty when you do

so keep smiling will you ^__^

-AHK-

*utk seorang perempuan yg tadi katanya sedang contemplating
*too bad i can't bug you bcoz my ym keep on disconnecting... mungkin yg diatas sana tidak mengijinkan saya mengganggu dirinya hohoho

not a silver spoon
but more like a coral reef

not shiny and glowy
but rather rugged and jagged

don't have a future written in gold ink
but a future that will be carved on stones

can't give thousand promises of hopes and dreams
only the best effort for everything

no longer believe in love
responsibility is all i've known

filled with imperfections
and my imperfections is why i continue to learn

-AHK-