Alphabets and Words Dance Inside my Head

Where do we start...

ok here it goes

about two days ago, while i was playing with my guitar...
singing dua sejoli from dewa dengan suara saya yang jauh lebih mendayu-dayu daripada once :D...

tiba2... pop... nongollah message dari the moon goddess, yang serta merta menutupi chord yg sedang saya mainkan dan tentunya dengan refleks saya berkata "aaaaarrrghh"...
kecewa berat nih padahal sedang saya rekam

so we chat about... things... selesai chat maka saya playlah hasil recording tadi, dengan nada gitar yg cukup ancur dan suara saya yg samar2... dan diakhiri dengan "aaaaarrrghh"... well i thought it was funny so in the morning i send the recording to the moon goddess.

apparently she didn't check her email... dan dia baru denger malamnya, itupun setelah saya tanya dan forward ke email kantornya

the next morning she replied and her words was
"Nice.... suara gitarnya terlalu doniman, suaramu tenggelam g kedengeran #sokkomentar :p"

malamnya seperti biasa genjrang genjreng gak jelas...
and so i read again her comments... and i notice several things... at first... agak sedikit ngeledek... eventhough maksudnya mungkin bukan kaya gitu... and second... who's doniman? :P

so i made another recording... checking out chordlist on my netbook...
slank... sounds good but not if i play it
dewa... excellent but E1 E2 E3 was just not easy
scrolling down...
ah i can play this one... it was "the only exception" by paramore
record it with my netbook... sounds awfull... i barely hear my own voice
record di hp... ahaa... suaranya lebih kedengeran...
jadilah sebuah track dengan durasi hampir 4menit saya email ke moon goddess paginya

dengan tambahan dari quotenya
Nice (diangkat dulu).... suara gitarnya terlalu doniman(siapa itu? kaya nama tukang sayur), suaramu tenggelam g kedengeran (skarang baru dibanting) #sokkomentar :p


sebelum brangkat training saya cek fb dulu... looking at notifications... and i notice her name...
it's not a link... i tried to search her name... not found, check several last comments made by her... no longer exists...

wow... did i do something wrong?

check on my phone... she's online but invisible... for the rest of the day...
owkay maybe she didn't took the song as it was supposed to be

but before i come to that conclusions i did a discussion with my friends...
one that i will mention here was Ms.I
so i ask her "Ms.I, tadi pagi gw krimin lagu ke temen gw koq tau2 gw dibanned ya"
kmudian Ms.I menanyakan several things..
such as... am i approaching this girl and ud kenal brapa lama...
and so i answered... dulu gw emang sempet brusaha ngedeketin tapi ud ditolak

and Ms.I said "nah itu dia", she comes with a conclusion maybe the moon goddess thought that i'm still making a move on her with that song... jadi si Ms.I suggest that i ask to the moon goddess, tapi belaga bego

sangat disayangan belaga bego bukanlah hal yg mudah bagi saya :P
jadi setelah solat maghrib dengan hebatnya saya nulis di ymnya moon goddess seperti ini...

AHK: hm...
AHK: sepertinya saya perlu melakukan konfirmasi untuk lagu yg saya kirim tadi pagi
AHK: it was actually for lucu2an
AHK: i was expecting comments like 'waaah keren *histeris' or 'suara lu kmana2 gitu ris'
AHK: it was not an act to make a move on you, i'm done with that
AHK: the sentence "i prefer not to share too much with that" maknanya cukup bisa saya pahami dg baik
AHK: and the song, paramore the only exception
AHK: lagu yg saya inget dengan chord paling gampang, cuma G Dm Cmaj7 muter2 aja
AHK: how you would respond is fully up to you
AHK: kayaknya konfirmasinya cukup
AHK: and yes i know ur currently invisible
AHK: ^__^
AHK: no i'm not guessing, i definitely know
AHK: assalamualaikum

5 minutes later no reply from her
so it's done...

pesen Mcd, and when i return to my pc... she replied... the conversation goes like this...

the_moon_goddess: Diiijjjjj
the_moon_goddess: Waalaikumsalam
the_moon_goddess: Maap baru liat
the_moon_goddess: Hari ini aku g ngantor
the_moon_goddess: Aku blm denger the 2nd
the_moon_goddess: Nanti aku liat yaa
AHK: hee...
AHK: trus knapa fb ku di banned?
the_moon_goddess: Seharian aku tepar,baru bangun setengah 3
the_moon_goddess: Aku g banned
AHK: tenanan?
the_moon_goddess: Iyah
AHK: aseeeem
AHK: *malu saya

Onde mande...
dengan sigap saya laporlah ke Ms.I tentang jawaban dari moon goddess, mau tau jawabnya Ms.I?

Ms.I: lagian yeh
Ms.I: lo mah emang dodol
AHK: lah kan dirimu yg bikin kesimpulan
Ms.I: siapa yang nyuruh lo explanation
AHK: klo gak kmu suruh saya gak akan konfirm
AHK: lah emang harusnya gimana?
Ms.I: kan gw cm nyuruh lo nnya
AHK: salah ya?
Ms.I: belaga bego
AHK: :))
AHK: saya emosian sih ndri
Ms.I: fb nya kenapa eror
AHK: gak tau
Ms.I: ini lo malah explanation
AHK: :D
Ms.I: *ngakak gw*
Ms.I: kesimpulan apa?
Ms.I: baca lagi recent chat nya
Ms.I: xiixixi
Ms.I: ada recent chat gw ga?
Ms.I: kan lo nnya harus gimana gw
Ms.I: salaaaaaaaah
Ms.I: salaaaah total
Ms.I: dodol
Ms.I: trus gw blg
Ms.I: ya udah lo belaga bego aja tnya sama dia
Ms.I: fb lo kenapa? eror ? ko gw ga bisa liat
Ms.I: kalo dia ga respone lo berati dia emang ga mau dideketin
AHK: huahahahaha
AHK: maap... maap.... namanya jg anak muda.... napsuan
Ms.I: udah ketauan bener ini mah lo nya suka
AHK: ahahahahaha....
AHK: klo itu mah emang ud ketauan
AHK: wong gw ud pernah bilang maksud gw, tapi ud ditolak secara halus

so i told to the moon goddess about me asking Ms.I's opinion
i told Ms.I about what moon goddess replied

and those two ladies malah menertawakan saya
they both look very amused with my foolishness
and me... i look like udang rebus
(^__^!)

when you feel the weight is too much
and it's so hard even just to breath

when no one can catch you when you fall
and no one can shed the light when it's dark

when it feels like you're trying to hold the wind
and there's nothing that you can do

you're not alone
He's with you all the way
shall guide you everyday

have faith in Him
He will not abandon you

when you're living without a cause
and you don't know which path to take

when it feels like everyone is gone
and death is all you've known

you're not alone
He's with you all the way
shall guide you everyday

have faith in Him
He will not forsake you

-AHK-

hujan selalu bisa mencuri kesadaranku
menculikku dari realita
dan menarikku ke sebuah masa yang entah nyata atau tidak

rintik hujan melalu menyisakan kenangan
aroma tubuhmu
hangatnya senyummu
renyahnya tawamu
dan aku selalu dapat mengingat
aroma strawberry pada tubuhmu

-AHK-

liar liar
i'm a big liar
well maybe i am
so what are you gonna do?
sue me?
no, you should just kill me instead
go ahead and do

take this knife and cut me open
take it and cut me open bitch!

to make things easier...
how about i just do it for you
i'll just cut my chest open for you

see!... can't you see...
go look in there bitch!

i got nothing, there's nothing
you won't see anything
coz i got none

you won't see any regret
you won't be able to hear my embitterness

you can't kill what's already dead

so fuck off bitch
i don't want you

yeah sure i've teased you
but that doesn't mean i need you

it's no more that just a game
you're just a pretty toy that i've played

and now it's time for you to be wasted

fuck off and leave
can't you hear me bitch

stop that whine and tears
the fact is not going to change over your stupid little act
becoz this is the truth

i'm dead!

-AHK-